As my mom friend was chasing after her child, I dropped my daughter’s bottle and without a thought, put the bottle in my mouth to clean it off and gave it back to my daughter. Conversation stopped, and now my momma to-be friend looked at me with a disgusted look. I couldn’t help but laugh.
The old me, just a few months ago that is, would have quickly washed the bottle with soap, then with disinfectant and let the nipple air dry before putting it back in my child’s mouth, just like that nifty iBook told me to do. The old me would have done a lot of things differently than I do now. Heck, I just let Mariyah play with a pen, because that was the only thing that kept her quiet.
After my daughter successfully created a scene at the restaurant, I put a twenty-dollar bill on the table and walked out with a screaming child over my shoulder. As I walked out, I got a glimpse of the now almost in tears to-be momma. I successfully scared the ‘hoo ha’ out of her.
A few days later, I accidentally left her a 40 second voicemail, of Mariyah throwing one of her tantrums. Now i’ve done it.
This post is dedicated to my expecting friend and her fellow anxious mommas to be. I only have one year of motherhood under my belt, but I sure do wish I had someone tell me exactly what i’m going to say next.
Dear expecting mom,
You don’t know if you are ready for motherhood? Well strap up your baby harness, because whether you like it or not, you’re going to BE ready. Don’t worry, because something amazing happens. By the grace of God, the second you hold your child and look directly into their wrinkly black, beady eyes, you are a mother and your mother instincts will kick right in.
I’m sure you’ve heard it all;
“Get some sleep now because once that baby comes, there will be no sleep at all.” Sure, that may be true, but don’t let that discourage you. Coffee will become a recreational drug of choice, and you’ll wonder if the extra cup, is a really a good idea.
“Enjoy your freedom now.” There’s no doubt about it, it’s hard going out with a baby, but doesn’t mean you have to be a hermit crab. There is no shame in scheduling your day around your baby’s naps and happy times.
“Ha! You want that baby out now, but once it comes out, you’ll want it back in!” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this one. Never once have I thought this. For the tenth time, it’s not easy, but I am happier now than I’ve ever been, and I know you will be too!
Will there be days where you just want to run away?
But the second you put that baby to bed, after a long day, you will walk right back into that room and make sure they are breathing. I guarantee it!
Here are some tips that helped me through my first year;
My daughter was, and still is, a bad sleeper. I would rock her for almost an hour until she fell asleep and I would do it four times a night. This became very frustrating, but what helped me through this was to stay positive. I would say it was bonding time or even quiet time for myself. Most moms would oppose to this sleep method, which leads me to my next tip.
Trust Your Gut Feeling
Never underestimate yourself. You know your baby better than any other mom, grandmother or “professional” does. Take their advice, and never get defensive when someone offers you advice. Feeding your baby becomes an argument. You’ll probably hear, “your poor baby looks frail. Feed her/him!” Hearing this shot fire through my veins but I would simply smile and condemn to their advice. I try feeding her, when she turned away from the food, I’d simply give that person an ‘I told you so’ smirk. If my daughter did it, I simply thanked the person for the advice. Never put your pride ahead of your child(ren).
He/She is a baby, therefore he/she will act like a baby. If it’s crying, it’s because they don’t know how to communicate what they are feeling
yet. It’s up to you to teach them this healthy communication. Remember that they can feed off of your emotions, so if you are stressed and about to lose it, guess what? So will they.
What helps me when my daughter is throwing one of her one-year-old tantrums is to just simply walk away for a minute. I walk into the next room, close my eyes and take a deep breath. Walk back out and hug her, and she will hug back which melts my heart all over again. Despite what anyone tells you, it really is okay to lose your cool; don’t feel guilty for simply walking away for a minute.
Count your Blessings
It’s been a rough day. You were puked, peed and you know what on. You are finally in bed, but had so much coffee, you can’t fall asleep, yet you try, because you’ll be back up in just a few hours. It’s so easy to feel sorry for yourself. Don’t! Be grateful. There are so many women that would give anything to be in your spot right now. Always try to remember that on your bad days.
You have a tremendous amount of emotion; happy, frightened, anxious, excited. It’s okay, and it will be okay. No one, especially me, can prepare you for what happens next, but it’s a blessing. You are helping God create a miracle, and it’s going to call you momma.
So, don’t you worry that hormonal little heart of yours. All the parenting books in the world can’t prepare you for motherhood; it’s only you and your own experiences that make the superwoman you’ll become!
Now, watch this video and cry.
I hope that this post has inspired you, and has become something you can always look back to and read when you are having a bad mom day. I understand that I have only one child and only one year of experience, but that’s what makes this post more special, which brings me to the purpose of this blog; welcoming my readers to grow with me.
Moms, what advice would you have for new mothers? Please comment below, I would love to hear it myself.