I recently attended my friend’s baby shower, the same friend who I wrote ‘A Letter to Expecting Moms, From a New Mom’ for. As a few friends and I were at her house, literally ripping open the presents as she ate chocolate cake on the sofa (totally understandable), I suddenly started to feel a bit under the weather. It was BABY FEVER!
As I lay in bed that night, nursing myself back to health, I reminisced, and began to think of my birth story. It was a very magical for me and the proudest moment that I have ever had.
Friends and family thought I was losing my mind. They called me names; crazy, nut job, lunatic. Some even argued with me, like real arguments, all because my husband and I made the decision to have my first child alllllllllll nat-ur-ral; no epidural, no pain medications, no interventions, unless needed. I say, my husband and I because it really is a dual effort.
“Why did people care so much?” I thought to myself. Most of the arguments were that God gave us medicine for us to use it and to help women get through this painful experience, so basically I was going against God, or something like that, it was over a year ago and my memory is shot.
The way I saw it was that, my mother did it. My grand-mother and millions of other women in the past and present, have done it, and it wasn’t a crazy thing at all. It was natural. It really is a miracle how God created a woman, to endure a pregnancy and it’s labor. How, God has made women so strong, and now I personally know why women, especially a mother, is held at a very high standard in Islam.
Many swore I wouldn’t be able to go through with it. I am as stubborn as a bull, and wanted to prove everyone wrong, and I did. I had Mariyah, with no epidural or other pain medication. I thank God every day that he blessed me that day, with a healthy labor and baby.
I don’t feel completely comfortable explaining every last detail of my birth story, but I will briefly explain how it went.
DISCLAIMER: Apparently, my husband believes that I should include this disclaimer. He says that I need to admit that I was delusional during my labor and he wasn’t as
annoying un-helpful as I describe him. I offered him to write a post describing his point of view, but unfortunately, he declined the offer. All I have to say is that this is how I recall my birth story and honey, the offer still stands. 🙂 Let’s begin.
It was around 10ish, I began feeling pains, but it didn’t hurt too much and I didn’t think too much about it. Then, out of completely no where, I got a Charlie horse in my right leg. A Charlie horse!! Then, I began to shiver like crazy and thought, “we gotta go!”
I was still in my “yay, i’m having a baby” mood, so I remember talking to the nurse, and as I gave her my birth plan, I explained to her that whatever I said, even if I beg her, I DO NOT want an epidural!
Probably, an hour later, I felt like my contractions were right after the other and begged them to check me. When they told me that I was only one and a half centimeters dilated, I broke down crying. I couldn’t beleive that it was that painful and I wasn’t in “active labor” yet. They told me that since they thought it was going to be a long night, I should take a sleeping pill so I’m well rested when it was go time. I took the sleeping pill, and knocked out.
Mariyah sure fooled them, because two hours later, I began screaming in pain and if I recall, throwing some harsh blows to the husband, the nurses reluctantly checked me and I was SIX centimeters. Everything seemed like a blur, but I do remember grabbing the nurse by the leg and in a demonic voice said, “help.me.now!”
That poor lady was frightened. Turns out, Mariyah’s birth was the first natural birth that she monitored.
I wanted to KILL my husband. I think I even put my hand over his mouth and nose at one point, so he would stop breathing. Before you begin to judge, hear me out. He kept counting, over and over again. Usually, contractions are a full minute, so why in the world was he counting to ten, ten times! He would count to ten and when he realized that the contraction wasn’t over, he would say “oh” and count till ten again until it was over. But God bless the guy, because if it wasn’t for him there by my side, I don’t know what I would have done.
They called my OBGYN, and she told them to call when I’m 8 cm. An hour later, I felt the urge to push. My water didn’t break and I wanted to push. My doctor wasn’t there but the hospital’s doctor came in, and broke my water. I immediately began to push, the nurse tried to stop me and in one push, Mariyah plopped on the table. (According to my husband, she didn’t plop onto the table. I did push once, but the Doctor DID catch her. But you know, I was all pushing a child out of me and what not, what would I remember!)
It was nothing like I saw in the movies; I didn’t stare at Mariyah and say where’s my baby. I just laid there, and felt relieved, and empty. Not the emotional kind of empty, the, there’s no baby in my stomach, empty. That feeling quickly went away when I felt like I had to push again, but since I signed up for donating my cord blood, they made me wait. I finally pushed my placenta out, and then, i was officially empty.
I did it, I really did it. I was so proud of myself. I held my baby and thought, “Ferrahs?” Yes, I said my husband’s name because she looked EXACTLY like him. She was perfect. Everything was perfect!
A few hours later, I asked my husband, why he told me that I would be able to take the pain like a champ, and he replied, “Oh honey, I lied to you. I know you have absolutely no pain tolerance.” I do have to say, I don’t remember the pain.
I hope to write an article on how I prepared myself for a natural birth. Yes, I prepared for it. I’m not sure if it was something I did during my pregnancy that helped me have an easy and fast labor, or if it was God answering my many, many prayers. Either way, I am thankful.
Now, I don’t judge. For most of you, the epidural is an awesome drug and that’s the choice you are going to make. I don’t believe that just because I had my child naturally, I would think that mothers who gave birth with medication are anything less than strong. I praise every woman who gave birth, in any way, they did.
I just wanted to share my story with those of you who are interested. Share your story in the comments below, and help me inspire others.